JournalJournalhttp://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2010-02-21T15:18:58ZSquarespaceA New Worldhttp://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2010/2/20/a-new-world.htmlDenise2010-02-20T18:46:11Z2010-02-20T18:46:11ZI have been traveling a little more lately.  And it doesn't take many jam-packed flights to notice what an impact we have on the people around us.  A four hour flight is just a little magnified slice of the bigger picture.  Last night I sat in my aisle seat, frustrated about the XXXL dude next to me using ALL of the armrest, and the two XXL flight attendants who weren't having any of me leaning over into the aisle.  I felt the heat rise and I couldn't stop thinking about the guy who was kicked off a plane last week because he couldn't fit into the 17 inch seat.  I wanted to get out my tape measure and do a walk through to see if all of us passed that test.  But then...I struck up a conversation with XXXL.

Turns out, he was a nice guy, and a good person.  He had a story. He had a name, James.  And he had a son the same age as my oldest.  He was returning home from a trip with a broken heart.  He had just taken his 11 year old son back to New Jersey to live with his mom (Grandma).  Until then, James had been a single Dad, trying to make it work for he and his son in Las Vegas.  But at age 11, junior started heading in the wrong direction.  James was worried.  He didn't want his son to have the life that he had.  So he made the tough decision to let Grandma take over for awhile.  I could see the pain in his eyes, hear it in his voice that cracked as he told the story. 

What really hit me though, was how easy it was for me to write him off as just another inconveninece I had to put up with on my journey.  Poor me.  I got sat by the big guy.  I don't get an armrest for this flight.  The minute I looked into his eyes and came to know him as a person, a fellow human walking the tough road of life and parenting with me, I forgot about my petty complaints.  In fact, I had a great time talking to him and the four hour flight flew by. 

Big Jim lift a mark on my heart.  He left me with the valuable lesson that we don't have to go through life with our eyes down, avoiding, or worse, tolerating others.  Tolerance is a popular word these days, but I have always cringed when I hear it.  If you tolerate me, it means I'm insignificant to you, but you'll let me exist in your space.  We tolerate each other on flights, in grocery lines, in traffic, perhaps even in our homes.  But I want more now.  I want connection.  I want to hear, and share stories.  I want to live in a world where I see eyes and not pavement.  I'm throwing my tape measure away.

]]>Milestoneshttp://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2010/2/14/milestones.htmlDenise2010-02-14T15:02:21Z2010-02-14T15:02:21Z"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."  This saying hangs in our kitchen, a reminder to pause long enough amid the chaos to notice those moments.  I had two biggies this week.  My baby firefighter turned 5, FIVE!, and my oldest got registered for Jr. High.  I can't help but sit back and feel that I can almost SEE time buzzing by right before my eyes.  I distinctly remember being pregnant with my first child, and everyone around me telling me to savor every moment, because it would go so fast.  All I could think about was sleepless nights and stretch marks, but those people were right. 

Jr. High.

I thought it was cute that my little athlete who is normally in sweats, changed his clothes three times before we left for his orientation.  And he remembered to use his Old Spice deodorant.  He found his best buddy and we sat down.  I was overwhelmed with emotions as the Principal stepped up and welcomed all those squirmy, awkward kids to Evergreen Junior High.  He told them they were entering the Wonder Years.  All I could think about was how much I hated being 12.  And 13.  And 14.  Such tough years.  But through my almost visible tears, I watched my son giggling with his buddy, watched the cute girl in front of us turn around and give him "that look", and watched him blush.  Somehow with those clues, I began to feel that he was going to be fine. 

In the Principal's final remarks he said two things that solidified my confidence in the future with a Jr. High kid.  One, he talked emphatically about how much he loved working with kids this age.  And how he made great efforts to hire teachers who shared that love.  I realized that was one of my biggest fears...that my son would turn into a number in a world where no one recognized how great this little dude is.  And then Mr. Principal said something that really made me happy.  He said that Evergreen Junior High had a Zero Tolerance for...cussing!!!  I'm worrying about gangs and drugs and fights, and their biggest battle is...cussing?  I think we're gonna be OK.

]]>Baby Yogi On Boardhttp://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2010/2/13/baby-yogi-on-board.htmlDenise2010-02-13T15:10:00Z2010-02-13T15:10:00ZMore and more women are tuning into the benefits of yoga during, and after pregnancy.  I stayed active through all of my pregnancies, but with my third child, I did almost exclusively yoga.  My body, at age 41 appreciated the more gentle approach to exercising during pregnancy.  And recovery was easier too.  Here are Ten Tips to practicing yoga during, and after, pregnancy.

1. Tell your doctor what you're doing.  If you're lucky like me, your doctor will be up-to-speed on the benefits of yoga and will give you the thumbs up, unless there are complications or other considerations.

2. Listen to your body.  I believe that the minute life begins growing inside us, we are given the intuition to know how to be a "Mother".  Listen carefully to the signals your body is sending.  If you become overheated, or light headed, stop what you're doing, or back off a little.  And listen.  And breathe. There are countless fears that run through your head, especially in a first pregnancy.  But your body is wise and will tell you where to go.  Just tune in and listen.

3. Ego check.  One of the teachings of yoga is to learn to not be led by our ego, our overriding sense of self.  Now that there are two of you on the mat, this is a great chance to let go of attachment to doing everything right.  Let go of the need to compete or keep up.  Your balance will be off some days.  As your body changes, there will be poses that feel less comfortable.  "Stay on your own mat", so to speak, and be where you are in the moment.  You are a beautiful woman, growing a little person.  If you can honor that experience, each time you come to the mat will be miraculous for you.  And maybe that will carry with you afterward.

4. Props to you.  Bring props to your yoga practice.  A sticky mat, a yoga strap, a yoga block and a blanket will make your practice much more enjoyable.  Ask your teacher to help you with modifications as your belly grows.

5. Joint laxity.  Remember that all of those hormones designed to relax and loosen your hips are also working on your other joints.  It's not uncommon for a pregnant woman to be able to do the splits for the first time in her life.  But be careful.  It's easy to over-stretch and the last thing you want is an injury during pregnancy.  Enter your practice with a less-is-more mindset.

6. Lying on your back.  After 16 weeks, it's not advisable to lie on your back for very long. The baby is lying on the veins which bring blood back to your heart from your lower extremities, and within a short time you will feel light headed in this position.  I'm purposely not giving a time limit, because I did lie on my back for short periods of time.  But going back to the "listen to your body" advice, I could always feel when enough was enough. 

7. Avoid twisting.  Especially as your baby grows, twisting postures will become less and less comfortable.  Remember that twisting is a "downward expelling" motion.  Great for digestion, not so great if you don't want to go into pre-term labor.  Twists that keep your torso neutral, but focus on opening the chest and shoulders are lovely.  Back to less-is-more.

8. Upside down.  Doing inversions in while pregnant is somewhat controversial. Many practitioners advise against inversions while others say that it's good for Mother and baby.  I read a book by BKS Iyengar on yoga during pregnancy and he advocated headstands.  Headstands!  I had one baby that was breach, and I spent half my pregnancy upside down.  He never turned on his own.  But if you have gotten good at listening to your body, and you are in no danger of falling, I believe inversions are fine for short periods of time.

9. Breathe.  One of the best gifts of yoga for all practitioners is the ability to slow down, breathe, focus and center.  Exactly what you need now, and even more so during labor and delivery.  Now that I think of it, even more so when the little creatures are running your life.  Give yourself the gift of stillness.  Go inside and see what's there. 

10. Enjoy.  I have taught various types of workouts for almost 30 years, and I can honestly say that yoga has the power to transform your body, mind and soul like no other practice.  Yoga during pregnancy can feel like a gift to yourself, and a gift to your baby.  I think those little dudes enjoy it when Mom takes a break and starts to relax, stretch and breathe.  And who knows, maybe some of that calm will rub off on them! 



]]>If Not Now...When?http://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2010/1/19/if-not-nowwhen.htmlDenise2010-01-19T12:02:40Z2010-01-19T12:02:40ZWe convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we're frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be happier and more liberated when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we are dealing with pesky teenagers. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
 
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, or go on a fancy vacation, or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now.
If not now, when?  Your life will always be filled with challenges and worries. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

Stop waiting....
--until your car or home is paid off
--until you get a new car or home
--until your kids leave the house
--until you go back to school
--until you finish school
--until you lose 10 lbs.
--until you gain 10 lbs.
--until you get married
--until you get a divorce
--until you have kids
--until someone makes up his or her mind
--until next year
--until you die

Can you think of a better time than right now to be happy?

So...

Work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt. And dance like no one's watching.

Today is a gift that's why it's called the PRESENT!

(Thank you to Dave Boufford, Mr. Positive for this message!)

]]>The LOVE projecthttp://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2010/1/15/the-love-project.htmlDenise2010-01-15T23:46:08Z2010-01-15T23:46:08ZI begin this post with the four hardest words to say..."Honey, you are right."  I hate it when that happens.  But this post is not about hate, it is about LOVE.  I'm inviting you do join me in my efforts to really put this word to the test.  A lot of things have led me to take on this monumentous project.  But the climax happened just last night.  After two days of watching the horrifying images of those poor people in Haiti, of texting codes to donate money, and of feeling so sad almost to the point of being drained, I came to a realization.  (With a litle help from my husband.)  Upon hearing the words by Pat Robertson, about Haiti bringing this disaster on themselves with some long-ago pact with the devil, I was irate.  So angry, and appalled.  And when Keith Olberman came on his show with words of retaliation, I cheered.  He looked right in the camera and told both Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh that "wished them to hell."  I posted his rant on my Facebook page, and took solace in the comments from like-minded people who were angry too. 

Now here comes the 'Honey you're right' part.  My husband and I have been dwelling a lot on the word and the concept of LOVE.  In a world so divided along party lines, racial lines, gender lines, and preference lines, it's easy to get caught up in an arguement anywhere you go.  Social media has made us all commentators and has given us a voice.  And I believe, at my core, that the most important thing we can do during our limited time on this little blue and green ball is learn to LOVE.  But for me, so far, this has been easy.  Because I love those who are easy to love.  I love those who think like me.  I love those who are vulnerable, those in need, those who are loveable.  My husband is bringing to my attention (in his most loving way) that to hate a hater makes me a hater.  I have felt justified in my anger and sarcasm and judgement toward anyone who I view as mean, judgemental, close minded.  But last night, after a long conversation trying to defend my position of hate, I relented.  He is right. 

So...here's where you come in.  I want to be a person of LOVE.  I want the words out of my mouth and the actions of my life to show LOVE.  And I want to learn how to love those who are hard to love.  Will you keep me accountable?  Will you share with me your stories of how you have shown love, or felt love, or even tried to feel love toward someone who totally did not deserve it?  Someone who may not ever return the love?  I think we can do something together here folks.  Something big.  Something important that will go beyond the name calling and negativity we are all living in now. 

Will you join me in the LOVE project?  Leave your comments and stories below.

]]>Yes YOU can!http://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2010/1/2/yes-you-can.htmlDenise2010-01-02T22:59:11Z2010-01-02T22:59:11ZA new year, a new decade.  I know I speak for just about everyone I know when I say...Phew.  Most of us feel like we've been dragged behind a bus and hit from all sides.  This year, we experienced 'stay-cations' (a treat for everyone but the Moms), recessions, bailouts, Adam Lambert, and balloon boy.  We mourned the loss of the King of Pop, and watched Lady Gaga with our jaws on the floor.  But here we are, and I for one am optimistic.  In my work, I get the privilege of seeing everyday people make themselves better, every day.  Take this past week as an example: 

On Monday, these five beautiful Mommies-To-Be were lifting, sweating and smiling in my Lift class. At a time when they could easily retire to the sofa for 40 weeks with chocolate chip cookie dough and Oprah, they choose to stay strong and healthy. Those lucky babies!

Jim, a long time friend and student, will turn 70 this year.  And his goal?  To tackle 'Hero Hill' on his mountain bike.  No small feat.  He regularly attends cycle classes, when he's not enjoying winter sports in Utah.  Even cooler, he works out with his daughter Betsy.  What a role model.

I look around my classes and I see cancer survivors, spouses who are care takers, people battling depression, eating disorders and addiction.  People going through divorce, people falling in love. People living with the pain of chronic injury.  I see activists, parents, and best friends.  They all inspire me and make me want to show up with something new each time.  Something to show them the strength that lies inside of them.  Something to help them recognize how powerful they really are, just by showing up. 

YOU can be one of these people.  YOU have a story and YOU have immeasurable strength inside of you.  Show up.  Don't let the New Years resolution crowds scare you.  Find a spot and start to move your body.  Begin to see how being active and making a commitment to your health is the key to unlocking your full potential.  I look forward to seeing you in the gym soon...new year, new decade, new YOU!

]]>Shake It Off and Step Up!http://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2009/12/13/shake-it-off-and-step-up.htmlDenise2009-12-13T16:27:07Z2009-12-13T16:27:07ZA parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer's well. The water wasn't  very deep, so the mule could stand on the bottom. The farmer heard the mule "braying" - or whatever mules do when they fall into wells.

After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together and told them what had happened . . . and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially, the old mule was hysterical. But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back he should shake it off and step up!

This he did, blow after blow. "Shake it off and step up. . . shake it off and step up . . shake it off and step up," the old mule repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows or how distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up. It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of the well .

What seemed like it would bury him, actually helped him all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

That's life.

If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity . . . the adversities that come along to bury us usually have within them the very real potential to benefit and bless us.

]]>Fit MS: Living Healthier with MShttp://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2009/12/13/fit-ms-living-healthier-with-ms.htmlDenise2009-12-13T16:01:13Z2009-12-13T16:01:13ZI am chairing a committee for the Utah State Chapter of the Multiple Sclerosis Society.  Our new program "Fit MS" is helping people with MS live healthier lives through exercise, nutrition, and mind-body awareness.  Our next challenge runs January through March, and we would like to award prizes to all who participate.  These prizes will be awarded at the end of Walk MS in April at the Gateway.  Over 3000 people will gather for the awards ceremony.  Would you consider making a prize donation?  Anything you could donate from your business or community contacts would be much appreciated.  Let me know if you think you can contribute, and I would be happy to come and collect your donation.   I can provide a solicitation letter on MS letterhead if you wish. 
Also, grants are available to anyone in the state of Utah who has MS.  These grants provide up to $150 to be used for a product, service or activity that enhances the wellness of someone living with MS.  Health club memberships, personal training, physical therapy, nutritional counseling, etc.  For more information, click here.


]]>Get On The Ball in 2010http://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2009/12/9/get-on-the-ball-in-2010.htmlDenise2009-12-10T02:03:50Z2009-12-10T02:03:50ZThree Weeks to Better Balance and A Stronger Core

After the ball drops in Times Square, let's kick off the New Year "on the ball".  Join me for three consecutive Friday evening workouts using the stability ball.  I'll even send you home with your own ball if you don't already have one!  In three weeks, you will have better balance, a stronger core, better posture and leaner, stronger legs. 
Friday January 8 6-7:30pm
Friday January 15, 6-7:30pm
Friday January 22, 6-7:30pm

Cost $79 (includes ball)  $59 without ball for all three weeks
(individual class $25)
Murray Park Center, 202 E. Murray Park Ave.



Contact me here for more information, or to register for this fun class series

]]>Get Out And Votehttp://www.denisedruce.com/journal/2009/11/3/get-out-and-vote.htmlDenise2009-11-03T15:59:46Z2009-11-03T15:59:46ZI'm wearing my "I Voted" sticker today.  Proudly.  In my voting precinct, there was only one issue to vote on...whether or not to issue bonds for our school district to do improvements to our older schools.  For me and my three kids this is a big issue.  I don't know about you, but I get cranky and restless when I'm too hot.  I view air conditioning as a priveledge and a necessity, not a luxury.  I believe my kids will learn better if they are not sitting in an 87 degree classroom this spring.  So I showed up at the polls at 7am and I voted.

The interesting thing to me is, how emotional I get whenever I touch that "submit ballot" button.  The lump in my throat today was no smaller than last year when I cast a vote for the first African American President of the United States of America.  I feel priveledged...and blessed...and grateful.

We hear stories of people who share this little blue and green planet with us getting harrassed, beaten, even killed for trying to have a voice, for trying to cast their ballot.  The only hassle I got was from the nice little white haired lady asking me to please not take a sticker until I had returned her blue voting card.  That's a small price to pay for a priveledge so great.

Get out and vote today, no matter how big or small the issues before you.  And wear your sticker proudly.

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